Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize