The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Houston, we have a blender
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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