Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
