you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
