remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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