can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
