People in love make me want to vomit
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
