it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
