Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
