I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
