Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think your dad took our porno
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize