your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
