idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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