I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
