Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize