After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
In America we eat man semen.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
