Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
