Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
