is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
