oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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