For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
