no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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