so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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