I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The uberlube is also flammable
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
