in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Randomize
