I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
