afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
