No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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