He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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