Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
