Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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