I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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