don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
