What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
