We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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