She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize