He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize