i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
