don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
