And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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