i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
