pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My liver just had a heart attack.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
