Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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