if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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