it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
