Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
