He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
