I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Farmville is her only friend.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
