I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
