Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
