i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize