Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
