I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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