i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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