Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
