i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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