my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
