get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
