You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
