I'm jealous of your bromance
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize