I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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