Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
