guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
