he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
