My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
