How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
