Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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