you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
