I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
