Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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