Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
