come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
