Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
